Toxic Positivity and Emotional Intelligence

The happiness movement is suffering from another overly simplistic interpretation of positivity:  the belief that one should only allow positive emotions no matter how dire the situation.   Susan David, author of Emotional Agility: Get Unstuck, Embrace Change, and Thrive in Work and Life and popular ted talk speaker, discusses toxic positivity as being stuck […]

Working on Relationships, Part 4: Marriage, Partners, Swiping Right

Coming out of my 20-year marriage in the late 1990s, I felt like Rip Van Winkle entering the Matrix’s dating scene. Where we once employed gyms and bars as the places to meet one or two potential partners at a time, we seemingly transformed overnight onto online websites and apps where you can literally meet hundreds […]

Working on Relationships, Part 3: Soul Mate Radar Detector

Ah, what’s better than the feeling of falling in love? Finally finding your soul mate, happily ever after, yadda yadda. Then two, or maybe five years later, we’re realizing maybe they’re not our soul mate after all. The prince is actually a frog and pushes our buttons like no other. Is something wrong with our soul mate […]

Working on Relationships, Part 2: Boundaries

Trigger warning: pleasers and conflict avoiders, you’re not going to like this topic. You’re going to learn that a healthy relationship includes setting boundaries, which may displease or cause conflict. Setting boundaries means that you first know your values and how you wish to be treated, then communicate those wishes to others. Respecting boundaries means that […]

Working on Relationships, Part 1: Intimate Communication

A lifelong student of relationships, I have worked hard – and am a work in progress – at learning the skills needed to create healthy relationships.  Intimate communication is one of the most transformative and essential relationship skills, one that I hope everyone will learn. Communicating with intimacy is important because it happens on deep […]

Communication in a Committed Relationship

Successful relationships require commitment and good communication. This advice often seems to be misconstrued as being limited to articulating views and beliefs clearly to the other. Good communication should be reciprocal, aimed at mutual understanding. Too often we just want to be heard without committing to listening deeply to others. If we are uninterested in discovering […]

Journey to Be in a Relationship

Like most girls, I spent my childhood imagining that I’d meet a wonderful man and live happily ever after. The search was the hard part, according to cultural lore. One day, about 6 years into my marriage, and much to my surprise, I found myself crying as I walked down the street. Why? I had 2 […]

The Art of Acceptance

Standing before many mirrors over the past thirty years, I’ve seen patterns of thought, feeling, and behavior in myself that produced outcomes I’d prefer never experiencing again. At one time, I wore these patterns like a well-worn pair of jeans that defined me. On the other hand, they also constrained the limits of my comfort zone, […]

Mother Earth’s Love Language

We often speak of the golden rule: treat others as we wish to be treated. But have you heard of the platinum rule: treat others as they wish to be treated? Both are hard, the second is harder. Understanding what others want can be challenging because we tend to conflate our own needs and wishes with that […]

Happy Everything Day

The holiday season (whichever holidays you celebrate) is so magical because they ask us to stop and celebrate something. It’s such a relief to raise our noses from the proverbial grindstone and take a step back to count our blessings, express gratitude, spend time with loved ones, and relish our abundance. What are your holiday […]