Communication in a Committed Relationship

Successful relationships require commitment and good communication. This advice often seems to be misconstrued as being limited to articulating views and beliefs clearly to the other. Good communication should be reciprocal, aimed at mutual understanding. Too often we just want to be heard without committing to listening deeply to others. If we are uninterested in discovering […]

Journey to Be in a Relationship

Like most girls, I spent my childhood imagining that I’d meet a wonderful man and live happily ever after. The search was the hard part, according to cultural lore. One day, about 6 years into my marriage, and much to my surprise, I found myself crying as I walked down the street. Why? I had 2 […]

The Art of Acceptance

Standing before many mirrors over the past thirty years, I’ve seen patterns of thought, feeling, and behavior in myself that produced outcomes I’d prefer never experiencing again. At one time, I wore these patterns like a well-worn pair of jeans that defined me. On the other hand, they also constrained the limits of my comfort zone, […]

Re-imagining Our Sacred Relationships

Rugged individualism has served America well in some respects.  It’s created many of the world’s most successful entrepreneurs and decades of economic growth. But has individualism gone too far? The collective mentality often goes into binary thinking:  it’s either this or that. Thinking of our options as black or white choices reduces our ability to discern the subtlety of […]

Walking for Life: Voting with our Feet

In the USA we have just come through a long election cycle, which appears to have no end in sight. No matter where a person falls on any ideological or political scale, it is paramount for everyone to vote. Voting is one way to listen to each other, even if what we hear is unpleasant. […]

Mother Earth’s Love Language

We often speak of the golden rule: treat others as we wish to be treated. But have you heard of the platinum rule: treat others as they wish to be treated? Both are hard, the second is harder. Understanding what others want can be challenging because we tend to conflate our own needs and wishes with that […]

Happy Everything Day

The holiday season (whichever holidays you celebrate) is so magical because they ask us to stop and celebrate something. It’s such a relief to raise our noses from the proverbial grindstone and take a step back to count our blessings, express gratitude, spend time with loved ones, and relish our abundance. What are your holiday […]

Thanksgiving And Lovegiving To Earth

“When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.”  ― Mark Twain Twain’s wisdom resonates because it strikes such a chord of […]

The Treasures of Our Yin (Shadow) Side

In religion and spirituality, we often talk about light and love as being good and desirable.  The dark is ignored or discussed as undesirable, often equated to evil.  Is the distinction really so black and white? My background as daughter of Chinese immigrants means that I view darkness from the perspective as providing balance to the light, […]

Night Vision: Exploring Our Shadow Side

“Ogres are like onions…Ogres have layers. Onions have layers.” – Shrek  Disagreements, the kind where we’re digging our heels in for the long haul, often to have an element of disbelief where we wonder how the other person can think that.  But I know that if we dig down deeply enough, even the most illogical opinions, […]