It seems almost everywhere we turn right now, especially in the United States, politics is front of mind, top of page, and first in feed. This is the nature of the time of year and the political cycle. Politics can be difficult to discuss even at times when the stakes do not seem as high. In many cases, talking to others in a different party can seem nearly impossible. There seem to be so many divides between left and right, conservative and liberal, party affiliated and independents, democrats, republicans, and those who are interested in a third party.
What we often don’t think about as much is the differences within a party or politically affiliated group. As I have been watching the political conventions over the past few weeks and months, just because a party coalesces under one big tent, doesn’t mean everyone agrees with everything! It may seem that this is a weakness or a problem, but I’d like to suggest that it is an important opportunity, if we can learn to talk about it in a civil and respectful manner.
Every person is an advocate for their beliefs and their community, large or small. My perspective may be very different from yours. That does not mean your perspective is invalid or unimportant. Once we can listen to one another from a deeper level of understanding and with a greater breadth of empathy we may learn that even those whose perspectives differ from ours makes our democracy and our country a better place. Even though I may not believe the solution to a particular issue is in line with my personal hopes and desires, perhaps hearing another perspective can help me hone my understanding of how to approach the subject next time. I may even gain insight into another way to reach those whose perspectives differ from my own.
We grow with every interaction, good or bad, so why not try to get the best out of a political discussion, or any difficult conversation? One of the keys to making the most of these interactions? Listening! Though it may seem counterintuitive, the best way to have productive conversations is by learning how to listen. Listening allows us to have a shared experience with another person, it gives space to see things from another point of view, it broadens our understanding, and it gives respect to another person with the hope of them reciprocating in kind.
There are many reasons to listen, next time you have a moment of wanting to butt in, think to yourself: “I listen to hear deeply,” “I listen because I know another’s desire to be heard.” “I listen to be curious, to wonder where they are coming from.” Giving attention to your conversational partner can encourage them to do the same. Once they are heard, I can be heard, and in turn relationships can be built, however fleeting, upon the common ground of the space created together. We don’t have to solve the whole problem. We don’t have to discuss every issue that pulls us together or pushes us apart. We just have to take time to focus on one important moment where we can find space to connect.
In the Foundation for Family and Community Healing’s Yes! You CAN Talk Politics course, you can work your way through practical steps to talking politics with just about anyone. From listening to talking to conversations in real life and even what to do when conversations turn south! Enroll today to gather important tools to get through this political season with confidence and curiosity.
Sarah D. Norton, PhD is the Convener for Education and Depth Psychology at the Foundation for Family and Community Healing.