Standing before many mirrors over the past thirty years, I’ve seen patterns of thought, feeling, and behavior in myself that produced outcomes I’d prefer never experiencing again. At one time, I wore these patterns like a well-worn pair of jeans that defined me. On the other hand, they also constrained the limits of my comfort zone, resulting in frequent emotional upsets. I begrudgingly refused to take off these clothes. Then one day, I recognized the sublime accuracy in the statement, “That which I resist, persists.” If that’s true, I asked myself, why on earth would I resist that which is making my life challenging? When I coupled that statement with Neruda’s, “changing the world is an inside job,” I saw a way to shift myself into new ways of being to create consistently expansive results. I really enjoy those results. Practicing the art of acceptance of what is, became my new starting point for self-change.
I began to understand that acceptance of what is, is essential to becoming the (male) human being I aspire to be and having self-affirming experiences. In fact, I discovered that acceptance of all aspects of myself helps me change my thoughts, feelings, and behaviors more easily and more quickly than resisting those aspects of myself that I’d rather not cop to. That means accepting the whole enchilada of myself, even the dualities that hold me captive in the false narrative that my sense of separateness from anyone and anything is real. I’d already learned that all the dualities of my humanness are rooted in the misperception that the masculine and feminine aspects of myself are separate. So again, I asked myself,
“What happens if I recognize that my masculine and feminine aspects are simply two sides of one coin, the whole me?”
To actualize and apply my wholeness requires integrating both my masculine – action and knowledge – with the feminine – creative and nurturing – aspects. I’m learning, albeit sometimes more slowly than I’d like to admit, that balancing these perceived dualities is a skill well worth mastering. When I’m able to hold these aspects in balance, I enter the BlueSpace where the answers and solutions to my questions and problems, already exist. I love being in that space. It makes my life flow quite easily. Further, through the union of the genders within me, a new life and perhaps even the New Earth I envision emerges through my wholeness.
A STORY OF ACCEPTANCE
Once, a dear woman friend invited me to co-create a presentation about a project that is near and dear to both our hearts. Enthusiastically, I embraced the invitation. Immediately, she dropped effortlessly into her heart space, a calming atmosphere in which we work well together. She invited me to meet her there. “Drop into your heart space where we can blend our hearts to begin our co-creation.”
Wanting to accommodate and join her, I launched into a story illustrative of the manner in which I’d taught myself to integrate my masculine and feminine aspects. Her disapproving glance shook me at first. “STOP!” She said. “No! No! No!” she continued. “Just drop into your heart space!”
I began again. She stopped me again. This is not working, she proclaimed! I agreed. Part of me wanted to fight her. Another part of me wanted to run away. Then I remembered, accept what is! My inner voice said, “Engage her.” Then a pleasant gentleness came over me. I asked her, “What is it that is upsetting you so?” With my new inquisitive tone, she felt the presence of my heart. Immediately, she had an aha moment. “I get it!”, she exclaimed. Some people reach their heart space via a thought process. She had arrived at an acceptance of our different paths and approaches. Her acceptance of my path held steady and we were able to fully engage in a co-creative process which promises to give birth to a presentation that will ignite new flames in the minds and hearts of those who see it.
THE LESSONS LEARNED
My friend helped me recognize the great creative value of holding calm and steady, with her as my mirror. Once I accepted fight or flight as an option but refrained from going there, my world and experiences changed for the better. I had a new way to create unifying experiences. My friend’s initial reaction to my path mirrored for me an outmoded way I once had behaved. This time, I did not resist the parts of myself that create upsetting experiences. Nor did I acquiesce to another equally upsetting reaction. As I’ve accepted my own shadow side, I found a new way into my own heart space to join with another.
Acceptance of all parts of myself is an ongoing process of wedding the masculine and feminine within me. I recognize that acceptance is but one of a thousand pieces of the jigsaw puzzle that describes my wholeness. Once I accept what is in each moment, the BlueSpace opens to me and supplies more pieces of my life’s puzzle. Then I can make more informed and heartfelt choices which lead me to fulfilling life experiences.
My friend’s acceptance of me helped me tap into the Essence of my Soul, Tenderness, and Compassion. She felt me meeting her in our individual heart spaces, proving to me, yet again that when I accept myself, the world mirrors back who I’m being.
Albert C. Moore is retired after 40 years practicing architecture. Today, he’s an artist, mentor, writer, and author of: Eyes In The Mirror: Everything Changed When He Met His Soul, a story exploring the idea that our Souls create a Design for our lives that leads us to a New Earth. It’s available for purchase in three formats at: www.info-eyesinthemirror.com or amazon.com. Independently and through FFCH, Al also facilitates the program, Adventures in Self-Mastery. Inquire at firstname.lastname@example.org and 505.310.2089. Read more of Albert’s stories at: https://email@example.com